Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
“I’m looking for something flexible. You know, where I can dictate my start and end, where the work isn’t much. Ideally, where I wouldn’t really be missed if I decide to miss a day, or five. I love travelling, so it’ll be nice if there’s flexibility for me to do that outside those measly twenty something working days most organizations specify. But, the salary has to be robust. I’m not leaving my house for anything less than five-hundred thousand, and yearly allowance in the millions.”
The recruiter smiled, then banged his desk. “I have the perfect role for you!”
“Wonderful, they said you were the best recruiter around. I’ll pay well, of course.”
Three days after, the young woman barged into the recruiter’s office, her face screamed rage and destruction. The recruiter noticed that she was limping, and had scratches on her neck.
“What type of company did you send me to?”
“A highly sought company of course, exactly the job description you wanted. I always get it right, exceptions exist of course. But, yours? No, I’m confident I got you a role you wanted.”
“Are you out of your mind? Do you know who I am?”
“You wanted a job where you were the master of your timings, the role I got you can be done in morning, afternoon or evening. Any time of your choice.
“You wanted a job where the tasks aren’t stressful. All you need to do is to help carry bags or weapons.
“You wanted a job that’ll allow you to travel as much as you want, where there’ll always be someone else to do that job you don’t want to do. Well, what I got you is perfect, as hundreds of temporary replacements exist. And those replacements don’t even have the privilege you have.
“You wanted a job that has extremely high rewards, do I need to explain that?
“You wanted, essentially, to be paid for not doing anything to earn the gigantic salary you felt entitled to. My dear, the title of your desired job, is Senior Associate of Thievery and Laziness. I got you your dream role, if that’s not good enough for you, then I can’t help you.
“I hope your first robbery went well.”